By Melissa VanderKaay-Tomasulo, Ph.D.

We forgave our parents for grounding us when we broke curfew, even if that meant missing out the big dance.  We forgave our best friend for starting that rumor about us in high school.  Or we may have forgiven ourselves for not engaging in a random act of kindness when we saw the person who is homeless asking for money on the street.  Whatever the scenario, some acts are more difficult to forgive than others.  Take for example the spouse or partner who cheated on you, the individual who stole your purse or wallet, or even worse. It seems reasonable to be angry towards our transgressors, but all that anger and resentment may be a health hazard.

Researchers have found that forgiveness and releasing the accompanying negative feelings like anger, guilt, etcetera, may actually decrease future risk of a heart attack.  And that’s not all: forgiveness may be related to overall blood pressure decreases, aid in lessening cardiovascular responses to psychological stress, decrease both the progression of cancer and time from HIV infection to AIDS, and lower one’s risk for depression.  The act of forgiving itself has even been found to decrease chronic pain!

Not only is there evidence to support the notion that forgiving is good for your health, similarly, not forgiving can be bad for your health.  Much of the physical health effects of not forgiving are believed to occur because people tend to ruminate about the transgression.  Such rumination chronically activates the system responsible for our fight or flight response resulting in our cells “bathing” in a sea of stress hormones and chemicals.  Researchers have found those who have a personality which includes the tendency to not forgive (themselves & others) also tended to have higher levels of cortisol – a hormone released during times of stress.  A recent study published in the scholarly journal, Psychological Science, reported  that participants showed higher levels of muscle tension, higher heart rates, and greater blood pressure just thinking about a past betrayal!  

Research demonstrates that anger and hostility are also pertinent to the health implications of holding grudges, often referred to  as unforgiveness within the stress literature.  Unforgiveness has been found to positively relate with anger and negative emotions, which subsequently have been linked to a decrease in immune functioning.  It seems unforgiveness and its corresponding anger may thus weaken our ability to stave off infection and disease.  In light of these findings however, it is important to keep in mind that what we don’t yet know is if forgiveness makes us healthier or if people who forgive are healthier in general; the classic chicken before the egg example.  

Furthermore, this doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing situation. We may decide not to forgive, but also not to ruminate, harbor anger and feelings of hate.  Clearly there are no boundaries to forgiveness.  You have to do what works best for you.  If you are struggling with resentment, I encourage you to think to yourself, “is this worth really worth the possible detriment to my physical and mental health?”  Healing takes time, but the choice to forgive is up to you. 

References

Berry, J. W., & Worthington, E. L., Jr.  (2001).  Forgiveness, relationship quality, stress while imagining relationship events, and physical and mental health.  Journal of Counseling Psychology, 48, 447-455.

Friedberg, J. P., Suchday, S., & Shelov, D. V. (2007).  The impact of forgiveness on cardiovascular reactivity and recovery.  International Journal of Psychophysiology, 65, 87-94.

Herbert, T., & Cohen, S.  (1993).  Stress and immunity in humans:  A meta-analytical review.  Psychosomatic Medicine, 55, 364-379.

Temshok, L, & Wald, R. L.  Forgiveness and health in persons living with HIV/AIDS.  In:  Worthington E. L., Jr. (ed.). Handbook of forgiveness.  New York:  Brunner-Routledge; 335-348.

Witvliet, C. V. O., Ludwig, T. E., Vander Laan, K.  (2001).  Granting forgiveness or harboring grudges:  Implications for emotion, physiology, and health.  Psychological Science, 12, 117-123.

Worthington, E. L., Jr., & Wade, N. G. (1999).  The social psychology of unforgiveness and forgiveness and implications for clinical practice.  Journal of Social Clinical Psychology, 18, 385-418.